Wednesday Weirdness

Ok,

I saw this site and liked the questions, so I figgered I'd have some fun . . .

1. Why are there bomb sniffing dogs and not bomb sniffing gerbils? Those little guys could go everywhere and sniff everyone.
Actually, this was tried by the Secret Service for the very reasons stated, but the program was discontinued following an unpleasant scene with the First Ladies favorite panties and some caraway seeds . . .

2. What happens if you put the "This side up" side face down while popping microwave popcorn? Also what is the difference between regular popcorn and microwave popcorn?
Had to try this and see. Damndest thing: it seems the "bottom" side of the bag is immovable. The popcorn blew right through the bottom of the microwave. There was popcorn all over the floor. Luckily, I'm not a picky eater so the cats and I had it cleaned up in minutes flat . . . The "difference" is that regular popcorn only pops with MacROwaves and unless you have a Macrowave Oven about, you'd go very hungry. . . (though we could eat the cats!)

3. If you have a metal plate in your head, would it rust? Why or why not? And if you said that it would rust, would the rust be a problem?
I do have a plate and yes: it does rust. I'm pretty sure it's the high alcohol content in my blood. The good news is, the rust is leeching through my scalp and no one thinks I'm bald anymore! I tell them I'm a redhead with really short hair...

4. Who came up with the shape of pretzels? How did they do so?
It's a little known fact that pretzels were invented by the Irish (no, really!) It was actually Dannan Mcnulty, King O' Leprauchans who made the first one. He was trying to create a PFD (Personal Flotation Device) and reasoned that since bread floats, it would work nicely for his vertically challenged people. He formed the shape by wrapping raw dough around his upper thighs (The idea being he could then sit upright in the water and kick with his legs to move. This way he could look ducks straight in the eye since -as we all know- ducks are very pretentious fowl who look down on anyone who cant swim while keeping their head upright!) He cooked the dough so it would be solid and voila! The first pretzel. Unfortunately it sucked as a PFD (who woulda guessed it dissolved in water?) and King Dannan sank to the bottom of the lake, where he was promptly swallowed by a particularly cranky Rainbow Fish.

5. If not me then who? If not now then when? While were at it ... if I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I?
If not you, then me. If not now, then never. If you're not for yourself: you're screwed. And lastly: if you are only for yourself, then you are obviously a politician!

Later!