A Simple Truth

Sometimes in life, you have to take a look back at the things you've learned over the years and bring them to the front of your mind for a detailed review. It's very easy to overlook those lessons in the day to day craziness and even to forget them when they run contrary to your desires. What am I talking about? (You think I'm just rambling, don't ya?)

I'm talking about realizing that what you want to happen and the way you wish things would work don't always coincide with the way they really work.

Here's the most important thing I've learned in my 38 years on this giant ball of mud and stone we call Earth: everything happens for a reason. Don't misundersatnd me now, I'm not a spiritual man and I don't belong to any religion (I'm actually opposed to those on general principle!) but experience has taught me that every bad thing that happens to me eventually leads to better things. The worst experiences of my life have always paved the way for the best experiences. Now, is that fate -or God- at work? Or is it just part of a natural cycle wherein we learn to appreciate the benefits more after suffering the losses?

Don't know.

I do know this: fighting the flow of your life benefits you not at all. The things that come your way -good or bad- are merely things that come your way. They need to be dealt with, not ignored, but fighting such things only leads to grief. When bad things are happening, all you can do is weather the storm. When things are not going the way you wanted, the best thing to do is ride along and see where they take you. I've found that in each case I've wound up in better places than the ones I originally planned on. Make your plans, do your best to carry through on them, and never quit following dreams but realize that the path you've laid out to that dream is subject to change at the whim of the Universe. The road of life is often littered with debris and roadblocks; there is no MapQuest to your dreams. The best you can do is look for detours and keep moving forward.

Need an example? Alright, try to follow this story . . .

When I was thirteen, I had appendicitis. The appendix ruptured and led to secondary infection in my left knee that ate a 1/2" diameter hole in my kneecap and required major surgery to fix. I nearly died, and it was a testament to a brilliant surgeon that I did not have my leg amputated. I spent nearly two months in the hospital and fell far behind in my school work. I was left back in my freshman year of high school because of it, and was forbidden to play any type of sports ever again. I lost all my friends, my first love dumped me, I was thoroughly humiliated, learned to hate school, and the whole thing led to a bizzare chain of events wherein I quit school, left home at age fourteen, went to work full-time, and became completely dis-associated from my family.

Unhappy story, right? A recipe for personal disaster if ever there was one.

It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

The lessons I learned in that time changed me from the person I was becoming (which still frightens me when I look back on it!) into the person I am. I learned to be independent, learned compassion, learned that people are people no matter their place in this world. I discovered the world was a cold, dark, ugly place but I also learned that people were kind, warm, and helpful. I found my own beliefs -which didn't coincide with the ones I'd been taught- and decided the type of person I wanted to be (which was not at all like the person I had been) Those changes were the things that allowed me to meet and win the love of my wife, have my son, build the life that we share and to make me a person I can (usually) be proud of. There was a lot of pain and unhappiness during those years but I came out the other side a much better person for the turmoil. Bad times can lead to very good things. The key is to remember that when you're in the midst of them and be patient. That perspective can be applied to everything you do in life: large or small. I've had a fair share of hard times in my life and as bad as they got, it always led to better things.

I have learned to understand that it always will. Some call it faith in God, others call it Karma, some believe in fate and destiny. I don't think it matters one bit what you call it. It only matters that you stop fighting against it and trust that it will do right by you. It took me most of my life to learn that lesson. Now I just take life as it comes and deal with the problems on-by-one. Trying to force your life path down roads that are constantly blocked is only going to frustrate you. Don't lose sight of the goals you're heading towards but be ready to take alternate routes to get there.

Oh . . . and expect heavy traffic delays! ;-)

Later!