Traditions #5

THE OPENING OF GIFTS

There is a process to the opening of gifts on Christmas morning. One does not merely dive into the pile, grabbing packages at will and tearing off the wrappings! There is a form to be observed; a formal procedure, and order, in which all packages are to be opened. The traditional method for opening presents in our household is ancient and well-established:

First, we must consider proper placement of all involved parties. The Boy takes a seat on the floor (outside of package grabbing distance!) while The Wife sits up on the couch (wrapped up in a blanket cuz she's always freezing!) with camera in hand and muttering under her breath about how damn early it is. I get the position of gift-giver. I get to sit amidst the gifts and hand them to The Boy one at a time. (Okay . . . "hand" may not be the right word: "throw at" might be a more apt description!) Of course, I always ask him which package he wants to open next, then totally ignore his opinion, giving them out in the order most likely to frustrate him! (It's a Dad thing.) The conversations usually go something like this:

ME: "Which one do you wanna open next, bud?"
BOY: (pointing) "The big one!"
ME: (pointing at the small one next to it) "This one?"
BOY: (laughing) "No! THAT one! the BIG one!!"
ME: (putting hand on correct gift) "Oh! THIS one?"
BOY: "YES!!!"
ME: "Nah, you don't want that one. How about this little one instead?"
BOY: "ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!"
WIFE: (sighing and rolling eyes) "Give him the big one, jackass!"
ME: (handing over package) "Yes, dear."
BOY: HA-HA!

We do only one gift at a time and take a few minutes to examine it in detail, read the back, etc. Rushing through the gifts is no part of the process. Each gift is appreciated as it is opened (and bad jokes about same are freely offered . . . usually by me!) This way, the best part of the day is extended for as long as possible. When The Boy was small, we could spend an hour or more just going through his gifts. Now that he's a teenager, there are far fewer (but much more expensive!) gifts but we still try to make it all last as long as we can. The moments of surprise and joy on each other's face as we open the gifts are what the day's really about after all, so why not drag it out? We always do The Boy's gifts first, with me giving out under The Wife's direction as she takes all the pictures (trust me, you do not wanna let me handle a camera!) After that, The Boy gets his turn at playing Santa. He hands out the gifts to The Wife and I, one at a time. Usually with a look of concern on his face as he looks over the gifts and says: "Geez, Dad, there's nothing here for you!" (Yes, The Boy has inherited my smart-ass sense of humor.) The gifts are usually all done in a half-hour or so now (sadly) but it's still the very best part, of the very best holiday of the year, in our house.

Oh, and let us not forget that there is a use to be made of all gift wrapping! Rolled into a ball, it makes a wonderful projectile for launching at Dad's head!

Later!