Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Apologizing on Behalf of God

Oops.

Sorry folks, it seems the surprise commentary by The Lord God on Friday caused some unwarranted concern about the status of my health. As of the moment, I do not have "The Big C", I believe Jehova was simply pointing out that if he does decide to give it to me, all my whining won't matter one damn bit. I don't go for my exam until mid June (what's with that, BTW? You call the doctor with: "Um, my GP says I may have cancer!" and they're all: "Ok, well . . . we have an opening in three or four years.") Anyway, I apologize for any panic or confusion . . . but God's like that, ya' know? ;-)

Actually, I heard from my GP today. All my blood woek cme back fine, except for high cholesterol (a stunning score of 270!) which I imagine is not good. The Dr. office left a message on my voice mail that said essentially:

" . . . you should go on a low fat diet and lose some weight. Call us back in 6 months or so and let us know how that works out for you."

Gotta love that Hippocratic Oath, eh?

Oh, and in case you're wondering (like I was!) what the hell the number means, I hit the American Heart Association and found out that your risk for a heart attack is:

Desirable — Less than 200 mg/dL
Borderline high risk — 200–239 mg/dL
High risk — 240 mg/dL and over

So I'm 30 points into the "High Risk" range and my Dr. doesn't even want to see me for six months. So he either figures it's not a real risk or I'll just drop dead soon and he won't have to worry about it.

On other fronts: the weekend was crazed. Working on the house as always but to top things off, my ex-contractor put a screw or something through the wiring that runs my A/C!!!!! Oh dudes, you DO NOT want to be around a woman who has hot flashes when it's 89 degrees in the house and the A/C ain't workin'! The Wife was NOT a happy camper (which of course mean NOBODY was a happy camper in my house this weekend!) I had to stay home this morning to let an electrician in to fix the damn thing. Pissed me off too: I could easily have fixed this myself, but I just don't have the time. It would have meant no A/C until mid-July and that was never gonna fly with The Wife, so I had to cough up nearly $700. AAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!

Ah well, gotta bolt.

Later!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you're ok. I have the borderline cholesterol myself. The diet thing sucks so I'm looking for an herbal remedy. If I find one I'll be sure and share the info. Wanna trade houses? There's a sinkhole under mine. It opened up after my husband and I worked for seven years to fix the damned place up. This stuff sound familiar? Do you see why I love your blog??? Lynn

J.A. Coppinger said...

Hmmm . . . at this point, I think I'd be GLAD if a sinkhole swallowed my house!!!!

Seriously though, you have my sympathy. Working the house sucks . . . but losing that work to a random act of nature TRULY sucks!

Later!